Interview with Ekin Keser and Emrullah Tzn

I thought to make an interview with our friends after their wedding, because I wanted to know their point of view, their feelings about all that.  

Here I publish now what I was talking with Ekin Keser and Emrullah Tzn, the two Turkish friends of us who had the first gay marriage in Turkey on the 2^nd of September, on a boat, on the Bosphorus with about 80 participants. I had this chat with them two days after the wedding day.

Before I share with you this, I’d like to give you a little context. I got to know Ekin at the beginning of May, 2014 in Istanbul, Turkey. From the first moment he was very open about his sexual orientation (which surprised me in this socio-cultural environment) of course it was not just this but something more which called my attention and I invited him to our meetings of Silo’s Message to the “salita”. From the first time (and ever since) he always brought his friends to our meetings every week. The first one whom he brought was his couple, Emrullah. From the very beginning it was clear that they want to get marry, but it seemed impossible in Turkey, so they wanted to leave the country. Than Nacho mentioned to Ekin it is not impossible to get marry in Turkey and showed him the marriage ceremony in Silo’s message book. I have never seen such happiness and relief as on Ekin’s face about this news and soon they decided to get marry with Silo’s Message ceremony, here in Turkey, in Istanbul. While some months passed, we did several ceremonies with Ekin and Emrullah and their friends in the salita, their intention became stronger. It was always present in every meeting, in every chat of us. We talked about it, we had lot of fun about it. They decided the date and the place and circumstances. Eduardo accompanied them step by step and helped them to clarify the image and all the necessary things. When they had the invitation in their hands the process started. They stepped out into the public with this invitation and started to invite friends and family members. I had the opportunity to go with them to invite some of their friends. All of them was surprised but happy for this news. I thought to share this process will make our conversation more understandable.

Lastly I would like to mention, but probably you know about the fact that in Turkey gay marriage is not legalised.

-         How did you feel in this marriage?

-         Ekin: I felt lot of emotions. I saw that people are happy and I felt their love for us.

-         What was the difference for you in this marriage and a traditional marriage here in Turkey?

-         Ekin: There was no bride. ( laughing) Our friends wished us really to be happy. This was not done by the state it was done by two human being’s feelings and emotions. It was based on true feelings and emotions. Some of our friends told us that they saw two people who fit together. Also after the Well being ceremony one of my friends told me it was the first time in his life that he really felt relaxed.

-         And you, Emrullah how did you feel there?

-         Emrullah: It was very nice. I felt it was very good to start with the Well being ceremony and to read it before the Marriage ceremony. I felt that the people could calm down inside and outside after this ceremony. They sent us energy, but they didn’t know about that. And after the two ceremonies all people were so happy and enjoyed the night with us.

-         Ekin: Ever since we receive messages with congratulations and they are also  interested about how we did it. So we wrote them about Silo’s Message and the meaning of the ceremony. We are very happy and we are very grateful for Silo’s Message and for its community. I feel that after this event we can talk easier about the Message with many people. We hope that more people will come to the meetings of the Message. We would like to spread out this widly, for many people. At this moment we are waiting for the video what was made on the wedding and we would like to make a massive spreading out of this in LGBT area.

-         Were you afraid of anything?

-         Ekin: No I was only very excited, that’s why my legs were permanently shaking. 

      Emrullah: No, I wasn’t.

-         What did your friends told you, when you invited them?

-         Ekin: They said that, it is dangerous and they thought it would be very difficult for us. But I think maybe the next gay marriage will be easier.

-         What was the most important for you in this marriage?

-         Emrullah: That we could do it with Silo’s Message. And we could do it with true feelings, we could make a marriage with emotions, otherwise it would be only a party.

-         Ekin: We would like to say thank you for Silo’s Message that it was possible and we want more people to know about Silo’s Message. And maybe later all these people will be non-violent.

-         Would you like to say something for those who would like to do the same that you did?

-         Ekin: Don’t be afraid! Never. If you want to do something, do it! What ever you do, do it with true feelings. 

      Emrullah: It is not difficult at all! If you want to do it, just do it! We had trust in Silo’s Message community and we did it. You don’t need the state or an office, just your feelings.

Juli